No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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