Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
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i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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