How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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