I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
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please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
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When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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