If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
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He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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