Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There's always time for handjobs
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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