i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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