he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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