i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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