I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
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Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize