Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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