I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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