So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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