so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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