Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize