I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize