i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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