best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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