I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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