We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
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Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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