you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize