is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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