Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
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So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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