Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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