i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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