2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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