cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize