You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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