i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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