no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize