wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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