You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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