goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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