I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize