so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
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My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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