This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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