I met the friendliest cop last night
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize