We won't sleep together?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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