I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She bit a glass in half.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize