We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize