She is in my trunk
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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