My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize