Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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