Plan B is the new Plan A
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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