I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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