ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
