well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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