You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
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They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
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I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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