Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
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She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
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Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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