There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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