people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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